


falling

by scribblingnellie



Category: BBC Sherlock, Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Admiration, Angst, Apologies, Barts, Coffee, Comfort, DI Gabi Lestrade, Dr Mark Hooper, F/M, Falling In Love, Feels, Female Lestrade, Female Sherlock Holmes, Friendship, Friendship/Love, Hurt, Male-Female Friendship, POV Lestrade, POV Molly Hooper, Scotland Yard, Secrets, Strength, Touch, Unrequited Love, Unresolved Romantic Tension, a little mention of Christmas, gender swap, keeping secrets, male molly hooper, what are we feeling?, why would they fancy me?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-10
Updated: 2014-11-23
Packaged: 2018-02-20 16:38:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 6,535
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2435636
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scribblingnellie/pseuds/scribblingnellie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Out of the fall of a genius, came something that Mark Hooper and Gabi Lestrade weren't expecting.  A gender swap writing experiment.<br/>Previous title:  flawed</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. prologue - hold tight

**Author's Note:**

> My new writing experiment in gender swap Sherlock. Hoping to post short, quick chapters on the growing relationship between Dr Hooper and DI Lestrade. Comments are most welcome as I try out my thoughts and ideas. Very much a work in progress!

  
'If I wasn't everything that you think I am, everything that I think I am, would you still want to help me?'

Her voice caught, making him shiver. She was moving closer, her eyes holding his fiercely. Feeling the rapid beat of his heart, Mark concentrated on his breathing. In and out, feeling his lungs expand and contract. All the times he’d thought about her, about the two of them together, alone in the dark of the lab, never had he imagined it would feel like this. Like the world was holding its breath, waiting for the collapse that they knew was coming.

Gripping the strap of his backpack tighter, feeling it cut into his palm, Mark faced Sherlock.

'What you do need?'

His eyes never left hers. He would do anything for her. Because he loved her.

'You.'

*****  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dialogue is from the magnificent ’The Reichenbach Fall’ by the incredible Stephen Thompson - Mark’s thoughts and feelings are my own creation.


	2. crumple

  
Too many people. Too much noise. Gabi knew she was pushing people out of her way but that was too bad.

_'She's dead.'_ Donovan's words kept repeating in her head.  _'Jumped off Bart's. Ironic really, her favourite place, after our crime scenes.'_

The bitterness in Sam's voice couldn't disguise the pain Gabi heard, the pain she saw her sergeant holding in. Guilt?

Shaking her head, she couldn't care right then. As soon as he'd told her, she'd left. Headed out of the Yard, through London traffic and found herself almost running down the corridor towards Dr Hooper's morgue. The only place they would've taken her body.

How could she be dead? Sherlock? With all the crimes and mysteries and puzzles out there to set her incredible brain to work on, why would she kill herself?

Flashing her ID card at the uniformed officer stationed by the door, Gabi pushed her way into the morgue.

She was dead.

There, on the autopsy table. The same table where her and Sherlock and Jane Watson and Mark Hooper had looked over so many bodies. There, her lifeless body still in that damn coat. Her hair and face covered in blood, eyes closed, hand limp by her side.

The feeling started in her fingers. Just a tingle at first. Then Gabi felt each hand tighten, her arms like they were smouldering from the inside.

'Inspector Lestrade?'

She was always calm over corpses. She had to be, part of the job; care but be dispassionate. Standing quite still, her eyes took in the bloodied, lifeless, irritating, clever young woman.

'Gabi?' The gentle hand on her arm was faint but warm through her jacket. 'I'm so sorry.'

Mark. His head was by hers, his hand on her back.

'Sherlock...' Her voice scrapped against her throat.

The arrogant genius didn't get up.

Please, Sherlock. Please.

An arm went around her. 'Come into the office. Please, come and sit down.'

The feeling was reaching into her shoulders. Aching, travelling down to her heart, her stomach.

No. Not Sherlock. She wouldn't.

The pain took her knees first. Was the room too warm? Her legs pulled against her. And then Mark's arm was around her waist and she realised they were both sitting on the cold, hard floor of the morgue.

'Gabi.' His voice was right beside her, calm and quiet.

'She'd dead. But she...'

'I'm so sorry.'

'I couldn't...' She'd had no choice. Her team had forced her hand, the Chief Super had ordered her to. 'I had to arrest her. I had no choice. I...'

'I know. It's ok.' The softness of his voice held her.

'But it's not ok, Mark, it's not...'

Lifting her head up, she found his deep brown eyes looking straight into hers. His careful, gentle voice caught at her heart.

'It's not your fault, Gabi.'

But she couldn't bring herself to believe that.

*****

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Second quick fic in my new gender swap experiment! Terrible events bring the DI and the doctor together; a moment of pain and comfort. Many thanks for reading.


	3. sorry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Coffee and a quiet moment. And an apology unspoken.

'What's this?'

Mark looked down at the proffered cup, steam rising through the hole in the white lid. It smelt divine. After a morning of instant coffee grabbed whenever he could, the aroma of proper, roasted rich caffeine was rather wonderful.

'An apology.'

Placing the cup on the lab table, Gabi took a step back. She seemed uncertain, hesitant. She gripped the other cup in her left hand, rubbing her finger against the top of the lid.

'Why?'

What did she have to apologise for? Mark looked from the coffee to Gabi; something in her face made him reach out, letting his fingers rest against her arm. Looking down at his hand, a small smile crossed her lips.

That was better. She should smile more.

'I've been avoiding you.. well, not you as such, sort of, but here. Barts.' Her eyes lifted to meet his. Mark squeezed her arm. 'I know that Mycroft's not sending bodies here as there's no.. no need to keep Sherlock occupied. Shit, I'm so sorry. I'm doing it again, aren't I?'

Shaking her head, Gabi plonked herself down on the nearest stool, dropping her head into her hand.

'Hey, it's ok.' Mark found himself beside her, his hand on her shoulder. 'No apology necessary. Honest.'

'No, but it isn't ok. She was your friend, you two were close and all I've been thinking about is myself and...' Her voice faltered, hand gripping the cup.

Guilt snapped at him, twice over. For his lie and for her pain. To live as though Sherlock was really dead and not off across Europe putting herself in danger, that he could do. But it was what the lie was putting the others through that upset him. When he'd agreed to help her, he knew what it would mean, what it would do to Mr Hudson, to Jane, to Gabi. And he hated himself for it.

To see Gabi hurting hammered at his heart. Her and Sherlock were close, however much they argued and snarked at each other; it was her allowing Sherlock to work cases that'd saved the consulting detective's life. The Inspector was more than entitled to think about herself. She'd lost a young woman that she looked on like a daughter; and her career was on hold because of it. Mark knew it was him that should be apologising. And he couldn't, not yet.

Moving his hand to her back, rubbing in slow, small circles, he stood close to her. 'What happened... you have to think of yourself right now.'

Lifting her head up, Gabi leaned back against his hand. He felt his heart warm as she slowly smiled at him; it was rather nice, the two of them there in the lab, no-one else around.

'Thank you.'

'You're welcome.' Mark stilled his hand, letting it rest against her. 'I am sorry not to have seen you for a while.'

'I've missed seeing you too.'

'Really?'

Why? He was just Sherlock's means to an end; hardly someone who people would want to spend time with for any other reason.

'Of course.' Turning to face him, Gabi took his hand. 'Why wouldn't I miss the company of a good friend?'

Soft and gentle, he felt her fingers wrap firmly around his. And he found he couldn't look away from her wonderful dark brown eyes.

*****  
  



	4. presume

  
Even through the glass of the viewing gallery and under the protective visor, Gabi could see Mark's face. The intense concentration fascinated her; the way he worked slowly and meticulously as he examined the body, making notes, passing items to his APT. She realised that she'd never seen him conduct a post mortem; she'd been there before and after the fact but never during. This was Mark, this was what he did and it captivated her to watch him.

Nodding to his assistant, Mark straightened himself up and Gabi found his eyes catching hers. A warm smile, a small wave as he looked over at her. Raising her hand, she smiled back. And steadied the little thump her heart gave. She pushed the reaction to the back of her mind, adding it to the others that were already there. The sound of his voice on the phone, the smile he gave her when she walked into his lab, his hand on her arm as he arrived to examine the body at last night's crime scene; they'd all had a similar effect on her.

And as she leaned her shoulder against the cool tiled wall of the gallery, she began to wonder why she'd never properly noticed him before now. How rude she must have appeared to Mark, concentrating on the genius Sherlock Holmes and only giving him the bare minimum of her attention. Well, apart from last Christmas at Baker Street when he'd worn that rather gorgeous close fitting shirt and Sherlock had been a complete tosser and pretty much brought the whole evening to a standstill.

What had she missed in those five years of working with him? A gifted, selfless forensic pathologist who was a good match for Sherlock's intelligence and a complete opposite to her arrogance. Mark seemed to have been happy to be overshadowed by Sherlock as they worked together. And Gabi'd gone along with it, allowing herself to think of him as just a capable, quiet, loyal colleague. Watching him dictate notes into the recorder as he continued the external examination on last night's corpse, she knew Mark was more than that; he was the most talented, expert and empathetic doctor she'd encountered in twenty two years of policing.

Which also made her wonder, just a little as the thought of his eyes and his smile kept going around in her mind, what else she had missed in the time she'd known him.

_Nothing, Gabrielle Lestrade_ , she reproached herself, _don't be stupid_.

Slipping her hands into her coat pockets, Gabi focused back on the scene in the morgue, as Mark and his assistant assembled the tools to begin their internal examination. Why would she - divorced cynical copper, ten years older than him, been round the block a few times - be someone Mark Hooper would be interested in.

Anyway, she didn't think of him like that. Probably.

*****  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Today's quick chapter for Gabi and Mark. Gabi's in a reflective, contemplative mood, and her thoughts lead her to interesting places! Many thanks for reading. PS. An APT is a Anatomical Pathology Technologist, who work as assistants to morgue pathologists - been doing a bit of reading and it's rather interesting.


	5. comfort

  
  
'Quiet Christmas, then?'

'Hmm?'

Gabi's head lifted from where she was bent over the corpse, her loose hair falling across her face. Mark smiled as she blew it out of her eyes.

'Sorry.' She looked up sheepishly. 'Miles away.'

'You are. All done?'

Taking hold of the white sheet that was folded neatly over the old man's torso, Mark watched her run her gloved finger over the dark bruising along the left arm. Gabi had that look on her face again. Whenever she examined a corpse, she had that serious, pondering look. Mark enjoyed watching her as she gathered the pieces of the case together in her mind.

Standing upright, Gabi nodded. 'Yep, all done. Thanks.'

She stepped back from the unidentified body that had been found in the abandoned warehouse, the third that week. Mark lifted the sheet back over the old man, letting it settle softly over his face.

'Not a problem. If this carries on..' He nodded at the now-covered corpse '..not entirely sure it'll be a quiet Christmas.'

Smoothing down the edges of the sheet, Mark found her eyes on him as he moved to the head of the trolley. Holding onto the light feeling in his chest at those beautiful brown eyes, he smiled.

Returning his smile, Gabi picked up the file from the other end of the trolley. 'If it's a Christmas that doesn't involve nosy relatives and overcooked dinners then that's fine by me.'

'You're not spending it in Dorset then?'

At the quick flash of pain that crossed her face, he felt like kicking himself. 'Oh, god, Gabi, I'm sorry... I didn't mean to.. I...'

Idiot. Why did he have to go and open his big mouth? He knew how Sherlock's casual announcement last Christmas of her husband's new affair had hurt her; even as she'd brushed it off, more concerned for him after Sherlock's humiliating deduction of his present, Mark had seen the pain in her eyes.

'It's ok, not your fault. It's just the thought of it... can't face it this year. I mean, mum's a bit pissed at me but, you know, I really don't care right now. Sorry, don't mean to burden you with it.'

Tucking her hair behind her ears, Gabi stared down at the closed folder in her hand, looking as though she'd forgotten why it was there. Tears were forming in her eyes.

'Oh, hey..'

Stepping over to her, he wrapped his arm round her shoulder, feeling her warmth against him. Sniffing loudly, trying to it brush it off with a choked laugh, she leaned into him, her head on his shoulder. Mark could feel her hair tickling his neck, the smell of cigarettes and coffee circling round her. He liked the feel of her there, tucked into him.

'I sent off the divorce forms today.'

Shit. No wonder she was upset. Pulling her closer against him, Mark let his chin rest on top of her head. 'I'm sorry.'

The sudden loud beep of her mobile made them both jump.

'Bollocks... sorry.' Pulling away from him, Gabi wiped her hands furiously across her eyes. 'I'm doing it again, bringing you my problems, crying on your shoulder.'

'I don't mind, honest. You know you can, anytime. We're friends.'

'Thank you.' Her mouth twitched, a quick smile there and then gone. 'Well, don't know about you but I need a drink. Pub?'

Nodding, Mark started pushing the trolley back towards the cold storage. 'Sounds good to me.'

Time away from work and with Gabi? Definitely.

*****  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Memories and comfort for the both of them. Mark might finally be realising how he actually feels.. possibly!


	6. honest

  
_Merry Christmas Gabi. M_

Quickly gulping down the last swig of coffee, Gabi picked up her mobile as it vibrated against the counter top. Seven o'clock on Christmas morning and he was awake already.

_Merry Christmas to you. You're awake early. G_

Pulling herself into her coat, throwing the warmest scarf she had around her neck, Gabi grabbed her bag from the hall table; one last quick check in the mirror. Who was going to be there to notice anyway? Two of her sergeants who had plenty of paperwork to catch up on; Christmas Day shift in the Serious Crime team wasn't expected to be busy. She pulled the front door shut behind her.

_Mum's just woken me with a cup of tea. And first thing I thought of was you having to work today. M_

Hand half way to the car door, Gabi stopped. First thing he did when he woke up was think of her? Rereading his message, she leaned back against the car door. No, she wouldn't make it into more than it was; just Mark being friendly. Though it was hard not to since he'd kissed her.

Ok, it was a kiss on the cheek and Mark had had three pints of bitter (unusual for him) so she figured it was just the drink going to his head. Dropping him off at his house after the pub, he'd leaned over to her, taking Gabi by surprise with a gentle, slow kiss on her cheek. It was nice though, his soft lips and a day's worth of stubble brushing against her. His eyes lingered on hers before he'd straightened up and let himself out of her car.

Shaking her head, pushing away the lightness that tugged at her stomach when she thought of it, Gabi opened the door and settled in behind the steering wheel. Mark had been a little drunk, that was all. His words in the morgue before they'd headed off to the pub came back to her - _'We're friends.'_

When he'd said that Gabi felt like she'd been knocked in the chest. Having spent that day building up her courage, persuading herself that she could do it, his words made her realise that she couldn't - why ask Mark if he'd like to have dinner with her when he obviously didn't feel the same as she did?

_Thank y..._

Gabi hesitated over her reply. She didn't know what to say. Was he just being friendly? Sighing, she flicked her eyes over to the clock on the dash. Should have been on the road ten minutes ago, but his message had thrown her a little. Well, ok, it had thrown her more than a little.

_Guess you're driving but I meant it. You were the first thing I thought of. Can't seem to get you out of my head. M_

Was he..? In his quiet roundabout kind of way, was Mark telling her how he felt? Feeling the full force of the thumping in her heart, Gabi took a deep breath. Might as well, she figured. She could be braver than she felt with a piece of technology as their go-between.

_You're kind of stuck in mine as well. G_

_Perhaps, maybe I need to do something about that. Now go, don't be late for work. M_

*****  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So where do they go from here? Many thanks for reading!


	7. feel

  
Cold air biting at his cheeks and the pavement slippy under foot with sleet, Mark carefully crossed over from where the police car had just dropped him off. Amid the flashing blue lights and uniformed officers, the usual curious public milled about the entrance to the small lane. The late afternoon light was beginning to fade, and he was sure he could feel drops of fresh sleet. But what was a bit of horrible January weather compared to the sight of Gabi Lestrade?

Approaching the blue and white police tape, he saw her a few metres down the lane, the bright lights throwing her half into shadow. And he felt his heart stop and start again as he watched her. Authoritative and confident, her professional mode was captivating. Talking with the PCs stood by the corpse and directing the SOCOs, Gabi was in charge. Turning to the young woman next to Donovan, probably a witness, she bent her head to listen, her face calm, her hand on the woman's shoulder. How many times had Mark seen her at work and not noticed how brilliant she was? Too spellbound by Sherlock and her flashy deductions, he must have appeared so rude.

Mesmerised by her as the sleet started to fall again and the winter dusk drew in, the realisation hit him. He felt it in his heart, in his whole body; he'd been so blind to the dedicated, honest and caring person she was and if not for Sherlock, he may never have really got to know her. Bloody Sherlock - breezing in and out of her cases that she worked so hard on. And leaving her to deal with the fallout from her jump; Mark knew how it distressed Gabi and keeping the truth from her troubled him.

He was falling for her... no, he had fallen for her. After kissing her and their Christmas texts he knew he had. Now he just had to work up his courage and ask her; he hoped Gabi would like to go out for dinner with him. Just them; no work, no colleagues or anything else getting in the way.

'Sorry, excuse me, are you Doctor Hooper?'

The voice beside him made him jump. He'd been staring at Gabi when he should've been going over to start an examination of the body and scene. Embarrassing.

'Um, yes, sorry.. I..'

Fumbling in his pocket for his ID badge, he handed it to the young female constable who'd sidled up to him. Turning his head, he found Gabi looking over at him. Her face lit up, she smiled and waved. Waving back, he couldn't take his eyes from her.

'Thank you... ah, Doctor Hooper?'

'Pardon?... oh sorry.' Taking his ID back from the officer, Mark smiled and ducked under the tape as she held it up for him. 'Thank you.'

Stepping around the white suited officer scrapping something from the cracked concrete, Mark headed to where they were manoeuvring a white tent over the body, squeezing it into the tight space of the lane. She stood by the entrance flap, keeping a close eye on proceedings.

'Hi Gabi. Terrible weather.'

And her wide smile as she turned to him brought a lightness to his heart. She was beautiful.

'Hi there yourself. Bloody awful weather.' Her hand on his arm, squeezing; Mark reminded himself to keep breathing. 'So good to see you. Now, where would you like to start?'

*****

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> They're getting there; the feelings are out there for them to do something about! Many thanks for reading. SOCO is a Scenes of Crime Officer - they collect evidence from the crime scene and victims and are the ones dressed in the protective suits.


	8. warmth

  
The wonderful warmth hit her as she pushed the door of the small restaurant open, holding it for Mark behind her. Gabi hadn't even know the little Greek bistro existed, tucked away down a side street behind Barts.

Gentle chatter and delicious smells enveloped them as they hovered in the doorway. She was starving. Dashing between the Yard and crime scenes and Barts had left her no time for lunch; just a quick coffee and muffin, hurriedly scoffed down en route to the body in the lane.

'Ah Doctor Hooper, good evening! Good to see you.' The stout dark haired man appeared before them, clapping Mark on the shoulder. 'And your friend. Good evening.'

'Hi Andreas. You wouldn't have a table for two, would you? I know it's late...'

As Mark's hand slip into hers, Gabi felt the butterflies chasing themselves around her stomach. Unexpected, but she liked it; the warm, gentle feel of him. Not that she hadn't wanted to do exactly the same when he arrived at the crime scene that afternoon, but that would hardly have been professional. And she hadn't been sure, despite his kiss and texts, if he felt the same as she did. Something told her, with his fingers caressing hers that maybe, possibly, he did.

'Not a problem.' Shaking his head, Andreas waved them to follow him. 'For you, there's always a table. This way, this way..'

Walking behind Mark as he moved smoothly between the tables, Gabi felt him squeeze her hand, holding on tightly. She'd missed him over Christmas. While she was quite content to be on her own - no family, no cheating husband, just her, a fridge full of M&S food and a bottle of good red - she had thought about him. Quite a bit, actually.

'Here we are, a nice quiet spot just for the two of you.'

And they found themselves in a small alcove, hidden from the rest of the patrons. Gabi accepted the chair Andreas had pulled out for her with a smile. He obviously thought her and Mark were there together, on a date.

Were they? Was this a date? Her heart jumped at the thought. Perhaps it was. She hoped it was. Having dragged him across London and back in the horrible weather, Gabi had insisted that he let her buy him dinner; maybe that did count as asking him out.

'Gabi?' His quiet deep voice broke into her wandering mind.

'Hmm?' She looked up from where she'd been staring at his hands. 'Oh, sorry.'

'You ok?'

Nodding, she picked up the menu. 'Yes, I'm ok. Very much ok.'

'Good, I'm glad.'

His shy smile as he curled the corner of the menu round his finger, his eyes not leaving hers, made Gabi feel a little braver. Even if her heart was trying to hammer its way out of her chest.

'So, why here?'

'Here?' Mark quickly looked down at the menu. 'Um, well, it's nice, the food's good, it's...'

'Quiet, intimate...' Gabi reached her hand across the table, touching her fingers to his. '...perfect for a date?'

'Um, yes, I guess. It's...' He was blushing.

By the soft candlelight, Gabi could see the slight pinkness cross his cheeks. Pushing her chair back, she leaned across the table, moving the candle to one side.

'It's lovely. Thank you.' And placing her hand on his cheek, she left the quickest, lightest of kisses on his lips.

*****  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A cosy dinner brings out the best in them!


	9. secret

  
Pulling the door of 221B shut behind him, Mark held onto the handle, staring at it. Mr Hudson had seemed his usual cheery self, fussing with tea and biscuits, but he'd felt the edge in the older man's laughter. Almost forced, pretending everything was fine in front of his friends.

'Coffee?'

Gabi's voice interrupted his thoughts. She was stood on the pavement, a few feet away, pulling her gloves on.

Absently nodding, he let go of the door knob. Stepping over to her, he put his arms around her waist, a kiss on her lips.

'Mr Hudson's not really coping, is he?' Mark leaned his forehead on hers, feeling her warm, soft skin.

Gabi brushed her woollen gloved hand tenderly over his cheek. 'He's getting there, in his own way. Give him time. I know you worry about him but he'll get there.'

Mark did worry; for Mr Hudson, for Jane, for Gabi. Because he knew and he lied. The secret he had promised to keep, the confidence he couldn't betray - he could stop his friends' pain. He could go back to Mr Hudson, who they'd left sitting slumped at his kitchen table, and tell him. But he couldn't.

'So, how about that coffee?' She pulled back, nodding towards the door of Speedy's. Windows steaming up, it looked warm and inviting inside.

'Sorry. Yes, coffee would be nice.'

*****

 

'Something's on your mind, Mark. Talk to me.'

He felt her hand cover his, her fingers stroking softly; she was so gentle, he loved when Gabi touched him. Around them the bustle of the cafe had subsided; the afternoon rush had been and gone. Their second mugs of coffee sat empty in front of them. He looked at his watch; how long had they sat there? It must be nearly closing time.

'Hey, it's ok. Joe said he didn't mind if we stayed a bit longer.'

A hand on his cheek and he looked up. Straight into her eyes; eyes that were concerned, worried. He ached at the thought he was making her worry.

'I'm sorry.' Running a hand over his head, Mark let out a slow sigh. Maybe it hadn't been a good idea to visit Mr Hudson. 'Not very good company, am I?'

Trying but failing at a smile, he looked down at her hand, still resting on top of his. Moving his thumb, he stroked it against hers. He was glad she was there.

'Mark? What is it?'

Tugging at his heart, hearing the worry in Gabi's voice made him feel worse. He knew there was no point in thinking it... _if he'd have known it was going to be this hard to keep the secret_... Of course he'd known how hard it would be.

Shit. He couldn't do it to her. He couldn't let himself get so close to her and keep lying.

'Listen, Gabi, I'm sorry. I've got to get back.' Pushing his chair back, Mark grabbed his coat.

What on earth made him even think he could do it? Be involved with this wonderful, beautiful woman and lie to her? Gabi was the one person who did not deserve to be treated like that.

'Oh, right, ok. You sure?'

'Yeah. I'm sorry. Listen, I... this wasn't a good idea, seeing Mr Hudson. I just... I just need to get back. Sorry.'

Her reply, the worry and concern in it, registered somewhere in the back of his mind as he stumbled his way out of the cafe, struggling into his coat as he went.

Idiot. Bloody stupid idiot.

How could he do this to her? Fall in love with her and keep something so important, so serious as Sherlock being alive from her? What was to stop him from just telling her one day, when he looked into those intense, deep eyes of hers and just wanted to take her pain away?

Head down, striding for the tube station, Mark tried but couldn't shake the image of Gabi - gentle, intelligent, caring - from his head. And that made his mind up for him.

*****

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The secret and the lie comes between them. My apologies after the last loved up chapter! The feels I had writing this. So sorry!


	10. hesitate

_  
Mark, are you ok? G_

_I'm ok. M_

_So why don't I believe you. G_

_I will be ok. M_

_You'll be ok if I stay away. Is that it? G_

_Can you meet me? M_

_Where are you? G_

_Out front, by the tube station. M_

_Give me ten minutes. G_

***** 

 

Stabbing at the button for the ground floor, Gabi felt for the cigarette lighter in her coat pocket. Turning it round and round in her hand, she tried to calm her mind as the lift started its descent. Mark'd been back two days and only that morning had he texted her. Was he avoiding her?

Finally the lift reached the ground floor. Making her way across the foyer, through the security point, and out into the front courtyard. One more gate and she was on the pavement.

And Mark was the first thing she saw. Heart in her mouth, Gabi stopped, her legs refusing to move. Across the road, he was standing near the entrance to St James's Park tube, the dark blue coat pulled round him against the freezing cold. A week ago she would had been straight over to him, wrapping him in a hug against her; today she held back, wary and confused.

Dinner had been wonderful; their kiss afterwards had been rather wonderful too - intense, enjoyable, her fingers in his hair, his hand stroking her hip. Gabi couldn't stop sneaking glances at him as she drove him home; he watched her the whole way, his hand resting on her knee.

But then Speedy's. What made him leave so abruptly? He'd called her afterwards, apologetic and upset. Said he wanted to see her, to talk properly but he had to go away for a few days; something to do with work and he was leaving early the next day for Newcastle. And that only made her more confused. What did he need to talk about? What was upsetting him?

Mark hadn't seen her yet, too absorbed in staring at the ground. His gorgeous hair whipped by the wind, he hugged his coat tighter around him, like he wanted to shut the world out. Shut her out? Gabi pushed back the ache at the corner of her heart. Was it her? The divorce? Their age gap?

She was letting her mind, her thoughts run away from her. If she didn't ask him, then she wouldn't know. Willing her feet to move, she walked to the edge of the kerb, looking quickly both ways before crossing over to him.

Mark turned his head and looked straight at her. He was so handsome, so lovely. She kept walking towards him, clenching her hands in her pockets as she tried to calm the thudding of her heart.

'Hey Gabi.' It came out as a whisper, a soft nervous smile on his lips.

'Hi, stranger.'

'Hi. Sorry.' A few steps and he closed the distance between them. But he didn't reach out to touch her. 'Can I buy you coffee?'

'Yes please.'

Gabi looked up into his dark brown eyes, but she didn't move closer. Something in his face stopped her; the sadness in his eyes made her hold her breath. What was happening between them? A week ago they were snogging like teenagers and now they couldn't bring themselves to touch each other. Anxious, she tried to push against the thoughts as they leapt about in her mind. But she couldn't stop them; she couldn't stop the horrible feeling it was all about to go wrong.

*****  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Something has come between them; if only Gabi knew what it was.


	11. chance

  
Dropping the files into the tray, Mark leaned over and switched the desk lamp off. He was over an hour past his finishing time, but then at least the reports would be ready; he wouldn't have to talk to Donovan for longer than necessary tomorrow.

While he couldn't avoid attending her crime scenes, Gabi was sending her sergeant to collect the body reports; Sam Donovan's angry face and abrupt manner (he probably knew what Mark had done) was nothing more than he knew he deserved.

He'd hurt her. The look in Gabi's eyes - confused, angry - when he said that he couldn't be anything more than friends, the pain he saw in them stuck with him. And he wouldn't let himself forgot it.

He couldn't forget her - her smile, her touch, her lips. He wanted her. Every nerve ending thrilled at the thought of their kisses. He was a bloody idiot for hurting her. The look on her face when she left the coffee shop haunted him. But Gabi deserved someone better than him; someone who wouldn't keep secrets, who wouldn't lie to her.

The sound of his mobile broke into his thoughts. It couldn't be her? Reaching across his desk, turning it round, he looked at the screen. Well, that was the last name he expected. Picking up the slim black phone, Mark couldn't figure why they'd be calling. After their last terse conversation over Sherlock's 'corpse', things had been silent between them.

'Mycroft?'

'Doctor Hooper. Apologies for interrupting your evening. Anthony has informed me that things are not going well between yourself and Inspector Lestrade.'

What? Well, of course the pair of them would know. Mycroft and her trusty sidekick, monitoring everybody and everything.

'Good evening to you too. Straight to the point as always.'

'What appears to be the difficulty between you?'

'Difficulty?' Mark sighed. Were both the Holmes sisters incapable of understanding emotion? 'What, the fact that I helped your sister fake her death, and have to lie to her friends, the people who cared... care... about her? Just that.'

There was a pause. Mark ran his hand over his face, Gabi's wonderful smile there when he closed his eyes.

'Then tell her.'

'What?'

Mark knew he'd heard Mycroft correctly. Did she really think it was that simple? Dropping his head to the desk, feeling the cool hard surface against his forehead, he tried to breathe slowly. And tried not to let his heart thud out of his chest.

'Tell her about Sherlock, explain why it was necessary.'

'Seriously? Let Gabi know that she went through that inquiry for nothing? One way to make it worse.'

'It is taken care of. Inspector Lestrade is secure in her job and there will be no repercussions for her association with my sister.'

Mark wasn't comprehending what he was hearing. Why?

'Mycroft, the whole point was to keep Gabi, and Jane and Mr Hudson safe and now you're saying I should tell her?'

'Inspector Lestrade knows how to be discreet, it is part of her job. I know we can trust her with the truth.' There was another pause, as though she was considering her next words. 'And if it would make things better between the two of you, then tell her.'

Make things better? All he wanted was to have Gabi Lestrade in his life; he was in love with her and he couldn't be with her. Considering what he'd done, Mark didn't think telling her why he'd pushed her away would make things better.

But he needed to try.

*****  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> But what will Gabi's reaction be? Many thanks for reading.


	12. love

  
Bent over the petri dish in front of him, Mark, with the tip of his tongue poking out in concentration, was intently observing something. He hadn't heard her approach and Gabi stilled her hand. Leaning against the door frame, she watched him. He was lovely.

Not wanting to surprise him, she knocked gently on the open door. Head looking up from the dish, Mark hesitated. A half smile on his lips, his hand went straight to the protective glasses, quickly removing them.

'Hi Mark.'

Pushing herself off the door frame, she took a few steps into the lab. Every part of her wanted to hug him tightly and kiss the life out of him. But she held back, gathering her courage around her; she wanted to get the words right.

'Hi.' Placing the glasses on the desk, he ran a nervous hand over his head. 'Lovely to see you.'

Nodding, she stepped a little closer to the desk. 'You too. Sorry about yesterday.'

'You don't need to apologise.'

'It was just a bit of a shock.'

Finding out that Sherlock was alive, and Mark's part in it, had been rather a large shock; the kind that'd needed several whiskies.

'I'm sorry.' Sitting down on the stool, his eyes looked intently into hers. 'Thanks for texting me last night.'

Gabi smiled tentatively. When Mark'd told her about Sherlock and about why he'd pushed her away, she'd found herself completely thrown. Muttering an apology, she'd left. Straight to her car, straight home. By the time she'd pulled up outside her house, she felt bad about leaving the lab so quickly.

'No problem. Didn't want you worrying about whether I got home ok.'

His gentle smile was back. 'Thanks. Um, so... how are you?'

She found herself moving closer to him. Letting her hand rest on the lab table, Gabi drew in a long breath.

'Hurt, angry, livid, confused, tired, slightly hungover...'

Watching his hand slowly withdraw across the table, she reached out, touching her fingers to his. His hand stopped beneath hers. Yes, she had been all those things last night. Mark'd become involved with her and then decided that he couldn't be - that hurt. Sherlock'd decided what was best for her friends without consulting them - that made her angry. And she'd tangled Mark up in it, burdening him with the secret - that made Gabi livid.

'I was hurt. But what you told me yesterday... it hurts less to know why. A lot less.' Gabi stroked her fingers across the back of his hand. She loved touching him; his skin was so beautifully warm, and made her shiver inside.

'I'm so sorry. I'm an idiot. I hurt you and lied to you... you're right to be angry with me. I didn't...'

'No.' And she closed the distance between them. Only a few inches apart, she saw his chest moving, heard his intake of breath. 'I'm not angry with you.'

'No?

Mark lifted his head and Gabi just wanted to hold him tight to her at his look of surprise. Yes, she did care for him. If she was honest with herself, standing there in front of him, seeing every freckle on his beautiful face, she knew she was falling in love with him. That thought was going to need another whisky.

'No. I'm not angry. I did a lot of thinking. I understand why you did it. I'm relieved and glad and... happy. Happy that I got to know you better. And I...'

Gabi hesitated. She'd thought it through last night. After she'd let all the other emotions come and go, she found herself left with just the one thought. As she felt Mark wrap his fingers tenderly around hers, it gave her strength.

'I want us to be together. I want you.'

Placing her other hand on his chest, slipping a finger tip between the buttons, she felt the spark as her skin touched his and the thumping of his heart. The noises of the lab faded as she concentrated on his breathing, on the sound of her own heart thudding in her chest.

'Oh.' Mark bit his bottom lip and Gabi couldn't resist him.

Taking his face in her hands, she bent forward and her lips met his. As she pulled away, she felt his arms around her and his mouth caught hers back. Gentle and hesitant, his kiss felt gorgeous and full of apologies and she found herself smiling against his lips.

*****

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love a happy ending! Many thanks for reading. I've found this quite an interesting experiment and have become rather attached to Gabi and Mark.


End file.
